January 12, 2013: Thank-you, Sr. Margretta

Sister Margretta Trumm

Yesterday a client stopped by my office. I hadn't seen her in a few years. As we met at the front desk, she exclaimed, "Wow, you have long hair. You look ten years younger." I am not too sure exactly how I responded. It was something like, "How long has it been since we've seen each other? Why, your hair is long too." and then a bunch of Sandy Lane "blah, blah, blah". Later I thought about her nice compliment and positive response at our re-acquaintance. I asked myself, why can't I simply say "thank-you"? Sr. Margretta would not be pleased.

Yes, I was schooled by Sister Margretta in the art of taking a compliment. I think of her words to me each time I fail at this task. I can still see the sternness of her face that fall night in 1982. We were standing outside of Mrs. Mooney's house at an after-play celebration. I was cast as the lead character, Miss Barrett, in the fall play, "Up the Down Staircase". We had just finished our opening performance.

Let me give you a little background on the cast of characters in this little blog story. Sister Margretta taught math classes at Remsen St. Mary's high school. She was a very stern woman, to say the least. Few messed with her and those who did, regretted it. Mrs. Mooney taught lit and English. I was in her sophomore lit class. She basically hand-picked me to play the lead. I remember her telling me after class that I was the spitting image of who she visualized as Miss Barrett. She encouraged me to try out. I got the part.

Other than pit band and supporting cast (no speaking parts), I had no previous experience in the world of drama. I believe there was a pretty big learning curve in teaching me how to act. I am also quite certain that after her on-the-job training with me, Mrs. Mooney probably didn't cast again solely on appearance.

Needless to say, we pulled off our opening night. I was relieved to have survived it, but felt my performance was so-so. As we congregated outside Mrs. Mooney's house, Sr. Margretta said to me, "Sandy, you had a good performance tonight." I responded by pointing out when I messed up and then tried to move the compliment to the entire cast.

Sister looked me right in the eye and sternly said, "Sandy Wagner, you need to learn to accept a compliment. Your answer is simply thank-you. You don't need to say anything else."

There was an awkward silence as Mrs. Mooney looked on sympathetically. "Thank-you, Sr. Margretta," was finally my response. "You are welcome," Sister said as she walked off. Mrs. Mooney smiled and added her own compliments in my direction. I kept my response to a simple thank-you.

I really don't know why I have to work at accepting compliments. I'm just plain not good at it. But Sr. Margretta is right. Thank-you is the proper response. Nothing more, nothing less. I'll keep practicing...