Posts

August 16, 2017: Baby

Image
Well, it's happened. Baby is a senior. Months from graduation. Our last hoorah.

My feeling is similar to the day I went to kindergarten round-up for him. As I sat in the crowd of parents, I couldn't believe my youngest was actually going to start school. He was just out of diapers. This couldn't be. Having a panic attack, overstressed with 3 young kids while juggling a demanding career, I was sure I had made a mistake. So I did what any good accountant would do.

I recounted the years on my fingers.

2000....2001...2002...2003...2004...

Yep. Despite my temporary confusion, Baby Grant really was old enough to go to kindergarten. And so it began.

I have cried my way through many last-parenting moments starting with our drive home from the hospital following Grant's birth. With each flutter and kick with Baby #3, I enjoyed every minute of my last pregnancy. His birth was the planned last. Knowing it was the beginning of many lasts, I vowed to cherish the moments with my fa…

July 11, 2017: And They Lived Happily Ever After...

Image
A picture is worth a thousand words. But let's start with six...

"And they lived happily ever after..."

I bought this little sign more than seven years ago. It caught my eye at Target while shopping for milk and kitty litter on a weekday school night. The boys were in varying grades in school and I was single-handedly running my daily household.

Recently divorced, I was also dating a man from Denver. Garrett. Our relationship felt like forever, but the 550 miles between our homes was a stark reminder that our long-distance relationship was more like a fairytale than reality. We were reminded of this frequently by the people who knew us best.

"Guard your heart. Long distance relationships rarely work out."

"You are both good people, so be realistic in where this is going."

But the funny thing about love is that no matter how practical-minded or mature your mindset, your heart guides you to places that are scary to others, but quite comfortable for you…

June 4, 2017: Brothers

Image
I am sitting on the back deck of a Chicago flat in Wrigleyville (while listening to Van Halen's Panama blaring from Ben's phone). The boys, now ripe ages of 24, 21, and 17, are celebrating a big Cubs win as the boys share their stories with each other after a weekend of brotherhood.

I quietly smile and type away at my computer. I am purely background music to the buzz of their conversation.

Ben asks me what it was like in the 80's when I was their age (his phone is now playing Kansas' Carry on my Wayward Son). Curiosity runs rampant as they ask what is it was like to be a 20 year old in 1987.

"What was Dad like in college?"

"What did you do at parties? Did they play good music?"

An entire conversation continues on a like vs a dislike for rap music ('trap music' per Ben). Grant and Ben exchange notes on their high school days. Zach's comments clearly reflect how much times have changed within the seven years age difference between him an…

May 14, 2017: Givers and Takers

Image
A wise man once told me, "The world is full of takers. Our job as parents to fill the world with givers."

This has always stuck with me. In the age of helicopter parents, sometimes it is too easy to lose sight of this simple goal. As parents, our job is to equip our children to be good people who are productive members of our community.  Instead, we get caught up in our kids making the best select teams and getting accepted to the most prestigious universities. It is all about their personal achievement and receiving a participation ribbon.

The unfortunate result is a selfish child. One who knows how to work an A and earned entry into all AP classes, but without a hint of empathy on how to spend time with an aging neighbor in early stages of dementia. A child with no sense of knowing how to drop everything and make someone else feel important.

A giver.

In the words of a favorite columnist of mine, John Rosemand, on the goal of parenting:

"The most important thing about child…

May 8, 2017: Priorities

Image
A friend recently posted a quote that has stuck with me.

"The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities." - Stephen Covey

Too often, I have let my schedule run my life. Not always, but more in my past than I'd like to admit. And I am not in the minority with this offense. It is more common for people to let their days run them, rather than them running their days.

Priorities.

This last month has been a win for me in the priority management category. There were many great times with my husband, kids, parents, friends. This feat did require planes and a lot of careful planning, but a success.

Zach has turned the page to 24, Ben safely past the age of 21, and Grant a golden 17. Although my three sons live in three cities, we found a way to uniquely celebrate each April birthday. My husband finished his teaching stint for the semester in Montana. My trips to visit him were nothing short of feeling like a couple of newlyweds discove…

April 8, 2017: Girl on the Train

Image
A favorite picture of my sons.

Three brothers sitting on a train. A subway in Chicago to be exact. The year was 2014 with Ben ending his high school years. Grant was finishing 8th grade. Zach was preparing to move to Colorado to begin gunsmithing school.

They were oblivious to my picture taking.

From Ben's school jacket and untied shoe to Zach casually leaning on his youngest brother's shoulder with Grant's ever-prominent coif of hair, I find myself going back to this picture. A snapshot in time.

Yesterday Garrett and I took the train from the Rockie's game. As I sat in my seat next to my husband, I stared ahead at a space similar to the one that occupied my sons those years ago. I could visualize the picture of the boys in my mind's eye. Three years has passed. A lot has happened in the last three years.

As my mind wandered, Garrett chatted with me about some of his recent conversations. Strangers filled the spaces around us, coming on and off the train with each…

March 31, 2017: Losing My Way

Image
Today my husband is closing out his ski season; looking to get the last breaths out of winter as seasons officially transition. So different from years past, I have only skied once this year. Today I am in Nebraska. Garrett is in Jackson Hole. Not my year for fun in the white fluff. At least not mountain style.

My Colorado ski trips started long before meeting my Colorado husband. With three young sons, a decision was made in 2006 to try a family ski trip. I randomly chose Copper Mountain in Colorado and booked a week around President's Day weekend. Complete novices to this sport, we took our first road trip to the Rocky Mountains.

It was an adventure starting with ski schools and learning the basics. None of us had touched a ski or board before. We were taught the differences between blue, green, and black runs. On our third day, we were all out of 'school' and ready to tackle the slopes together. Thinking we knew what we were doing, the five of us (led by two parents who s…