May 24, 2020: Stuff

Enjoying the scenery, sun, fresh air

I just finished a gorgeous bike ride. Twenty miles of Colorado beauty right outside my front door. A new normal is beginning. People are venturing out again. Cars and trucks traveling the county road towing paddleboards, kayaks, and rafts; enjoying Memorial weekend.

People feeling the outdoors itch was evidenced by the number of bicyclists climbing the winding stretch of County Road 240 east of Durango up to Lemon Dam. Garrett was intermingled with this chain gang, maintaining his own pace but looping back occasionally to check on me.

"Good job!"
"How are you doing?"
"Almost to the top. You got this!"

His words of encouragement as he breezed by me. With my love language - Words of Affirmation and Garrett's - Quality Time, this Sunday morning bike ride definitely resulted in a win-win.

I have likened this isolation time as feeling like Garrett and I are on a weekend couples retreat that just doesn't end. Without children to home-school and already pros at working from home, Garrett and I are well aware that we have had it much easier than others these past months. Whether going on a hike or watching Cheers with his dad, we have been grateful to just be together. I can't imagine the COVID restrictions hitting while we lived apart. Every passing week has seemed to be a new normal ventured together.

After so many weeks of stay-at-home orders, people seem happy with their new bit of freedom. On today's bike ride I saw people outdoors meandering their ranch land, full of hello waves. There were nods and smiles from each cyclist meeting me from the other side of the road. A feeling of letting out a cautious but collective sigh in acknowledgment of the new day.

With rolling green mountains and abundant valleys full of spring blooms by my side, reflecting on our life of recent days was top of mind. The song "Born to Run" was blazing through my brain as the background sounds of streams flowing and intermittent traffic, a joyful rush.

I have been listening to Bruce Springsteen's audio memoir this week. It's nineteen hours of Bruce personally narrating. And as he does with his poetic lyrics, his audiobook has him roughly whispering his life story pleasantly into my ears. But on this highway bike ride, there were no earbud distractions. Instead my blinking red taillight was a cautious reminder of the road with only my memory of Bruce's lyrical work flowing through my wandering mind.

I have always enjoyed my bike rides as well as walking my dog, Zeke. But if I was truly honest, I have thought of them as more of a chore in the past. A check-the-box daily task. With these days of COVID, my attitude has changed. I now finding pure enjoyment in these activities, looking forward to the daily adventures.

Last week Zeke and I went on a run along the Animas River. People along the popular trail appeared careful with their social distancing, but yet a sweet lightness seemed to fill the air. Happy to be outside. Happy to have back some of the simple pleasures once been taken for granted.

A train rumbling across the tracks with blowing whistle brought cheers from the trail walkers. What used to be a common sound in this tourist city known for its epic train rides, the trains had been silenced during the virus containment. The sweet sound of the tracks in use again brought a joyful reminder of the days to come.

Laughing children were splashing on the banks of the river with mothers quietly watching their play. Couples were sharing to-go dishes from newly opened restaurants, absorbed in conversation on blankets and picnic tables with resting dogs taking in the breeze. But the biggest thing I noticed was the lack of attention to phones and electronics. People were truly enjoying each other and the beauty of the outdoors.

Boy in the foreground

I have never seen so many kids at play and outside as I have these last couple of months. The good-old-fashioned kind of play; balls, swimsuits, games, laughter, running, bikes. As Zeke and I approached a bridge, two moppy-haired shirtless boys took turns jumping off the bridge. They stopped to play with Zeke and their laughter could be heard long after we crossed paths. Seeing this happiness was refreshing. Maybe people really have gained a better understanding of what really is important in life.

And I'll give you a hint on the answer: It isn't stuff.

That is probably the biggest lesson I learned over these COVID days. Accumulation of stuff and having stuff is so irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. And stuff sure doesn't bring you happiness.

Coming in from our bike ride, we were greeted by my father-in-law, Larry, reading a book and enjoying the sunshine. Garrett's son, Jake, was out giving Zeke a walk through our foresty backyard. Our new little house is full right now. Garrett, Zeke, Larry, and I were joined by Jake last week. A New Yorker, Jake can give a varying perspective of our recent months in Colorado to his in NYC. Although Jake planned on spending the summer in Colorado, with his junior year cut short and a summer job opening in Durango, he is now with us.

Jake is a great example of my 'stuff theory'. I love the simplicity of youth. Not old enough to gather too much stuff, but young enough to know excess anything bogs you down. He came off the plane with a backpack with a phone and computer in tow and one checked duffle bag. That's it. He will be here until Labor Day and he is good.

Now let's turn the mirror to me and Garrett. In our defense, we have learned much better over the last few years that stuff can be a burden. You have to care for it and as we learned, you have to move it when you want a change. We have downsized from two large homes to one 1,841 square foot house with stuff being moved and stored across many miles and several cities. Frankly, we were sick of stuff. It became a burden and we learned that less is more. Having less actually allows us to do more.

And then there is all the stuff I saved from the boys growing up. Hint to all young mothers out there, no one (including your now beautiful baby) cares about at which week they rolled over nor will they want to reproduce their many nursery pictures, collectibles in their future children's rooms. The big-box you saved for each grade school year of your child's school years with every 100% spelling test, drawing, and report cards. No one will want it in 30 years other than the few gems like the time Johnny got a Stop-and-Think for peeing on the bathroom floor.

All of this stuff takes a colossal amount of room, is rarely touched, and needs to take up space or be moved.

Zach and I recently went through the four boxes of stuff I was still holding on to (note this was already after a massive downsize of sentimental memorabilia during the Omaha move). With a ten-minute video call, the four large boxes were downsized to one small box which I mailed the next day to Zach.

What did this process teach me? First off, don't assume what is important to others.

Zach's comment on his many medals and trophies:

"Mom, you do know that they give a medal for everything. I don't even remember being in Boy Scouts. I think Dad made my derby car."

But with his favorite Star Wars Stormtrooper toy and a couple of the small trophies, there was no hesitation in packing them up and sending his way. Thomas the Tank Engine stays with me, along with Quilts made by my Grandma for him. As for the school papers, we laughed at a few and I took pictures to keep for future Time Hops. Only a few pieces of art were selected for storage. I was reminded that many were mandatory drawings. Those ones didn't hold near the same value as the Pokeman free-form drawings.

And now we move on to Larry. Stuff has been a big deal in his life lately because he has just been through a major life downsize. He moved out of his own house and a big garage into a bedroom in our house. Although we have become great roommates, there has been stress in dealing with stuff and more specifically, the loss of stuff.

Larry and I are self-proclaimed partners-in-crime. We have always gotten along very well and enjoy each other's company. Me being the one to go to Indiana and move Larry rather than Garrett was by choice. Larry and I tend to work better in stressful situations and my involvement played out well. At least until about a week into the COVID shut-down. He and I had a meltdown. A difference of opinion. And it all had to do with stuff. What seemed so important then now seems so stupid.

Larry felt slighted that he wasn't allowed to put more stuff in the garage. I felt slightly that he was more worried about his stuff than grateful for how far we had come (remember that Words of Affirmation thing with me?). We can partially blame this on a COVID mindset of temporary insanity, but the reality is that we spent way too much time and energy arguing about something that really meant little to nothing. It's not even a blip on our collective radar as we now all live happily together enjoying the seemingly never-ending sunshine and tranquility of our days along with our coveted health.

Whether or not you believe in serendipity or that things happen for a reason, I personally believe that this abrupt change in lifestyle that has come with COVID was a necessary reset. The world was moving too fast with people forgetting about what is truly important in finding happiness.

Stuff is overrated.

Great relationships and the ability to live life to its fullest, now that's gold.

My advice is simple. Go out and enjoy life's ride. No excess baggage is necessary.

_________________________________

"The highway's jammed with broken heroes
On a last chance power drive
Everybody's out on the run tonight
But there's no place left to hide...

Someday girl I don't know when we're gonna get
     to that place
Where we really want to go
And we'll walk in the sun
But till then tramps like us
Baby we were born to run."

~ Born to Run - Bruce Springsteen

Born to ride. Born to run. Enjoying life's simple pleasures.