June 25, 2013: Breaking up is Hard to Do

The boys enjoying a "loving moment"
My youngest sons have a love/hate relationship. They remind of the couple we all know who date, but we wish didn't. They fight when together, but can't stand being apart. And they make most everyone else around them crazy in process.

With four years between Son #2 and Son #3, I always thought this too big of a buffer for them to enjoy a relationship together. I was wrong. They have been fast and true playmates in all sense of the word. But it truly is love/hate. They bicker over the most meaningless things when together, but are lost when left without the other.

Our home life is filled with these two brothers constantly playing games and battling on the trampoline. They go from the tramp to the basketball hoop to the video games. Always together like a couple of carefree children. But while they play, they fight like a couple of wild cats.

Recently I decided to follow my mom's influence. As children, my brothers and I would fight. We fought a lot. Mom's continual response to our tattling was "you need to work out your problems on your own". I used this same line in the middle of a typical fight with their typical tattling response. I gave them the silent treatment and as any good parent would do, I locked myself in my room. Within five minutes my phone rang. They had called their dad. Mayhem was now shared. Fail.

My house has grown quiet lately. Ben has moved on to bigger and better things than fighting with his thirteen year-old brother. He is going to be a senior and he is flying high. A full-time summer job, football, and an active social calendar have removed him from being a fixture in our house. Grant has been dumped.

"Mom, why do you let Ben go out with friends every night?" is a frequent question from Grant. As is "Mom, shouldn't Ben stay home to be with family once in a while???" My parental decisions seem to be in constant question by my youngest. Somehow I caused this injustice to happen. He has been scorned and I am at fault. I don't get it. Maybe absence will make the heart grow fonder? We shall see......



 

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