This blog is a collection of stories on the ordinary days of today and a documentary of the days of the past. Thank-you for reading and allowing me to share. Enjoy your ordinary days and hopefully the bits and pieces of mine will resonate with the moments in your lives that bring you happiness.
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September 29, 2013: Ben Lane's Mom
Yes, that’s me. I’m Ben Lane’s mom. As of late, I have
frequently been asked this question. From the kids working Angel Flight to the
parents watching him explode on the football field. “Are you Ben Lane’s mom?”
I told Ben that I feel like a rock star. And then I told him
that he needs to have another good game this coming Friday as I’m not ready for
this status to disappear. Although I am actually trying to motivate him with
some humor, it really will be difficult to come off of my celebrity parent
status so quickly.
Saturday we visited Wayne State College as Ben is being recruited
for their football team. Unsure what this all meant and knowing there were two
other recruiting visits in the horizon, I took this one. Scott will take him on
the next two.
It was fun and insightful. The campus surprised me with its
charm and size. The coach, a proven leader, and those helping with the tours
and campus insight; impressive. Although still a novice with this sort of
college trip, I gained knowledge on what it would mean to play college ball.
Ben liked the school and the program. We shall see.
The two hour trip there and back provided for good
conversation and reminded me on why this kid is so likable. The stories he
tells typically revolve around others and his motive in life choices are led
with his heart.
The junior class volunteer at Angel Flight saw my name tag
and asked “Are you Ben Lane’s mom?” After telling her the affirmative, she went
on to say she didn't know him well, but he was in her class and was one of the
kindest senior boys she knew.
It reminded me of the three moms who sat ahead of me at a
recent home football game. They introduced themselves as mothers of sophomore
players. “Are you the mom to #9?” one asked. The women went on to tell me how
nice and helpful my son was to their young sons. One closed the conversation
with “I watch him on the field as he always helps the opponents off the ground.
Your son plays with character. A nice boy.”
Yep, I am Ben Lane’s mom. Although he and I can fight like
no other over grades that need to go up and papers that need to be turned in, I
remind myself of the winning strengths this boy possesses as well. His clothes
are rarely picked up off the floor and his wallet; missing more than found. But
Ben Lane has a heart of gold and sense of empathy that will serve him very well
as he steps into adulthood.
I ran into his Spanish teacher at Angel Flight. Ben had told
me that Mrs. Twist played soccer at Wayne State and really liked it. I told her
of our college visit and then added that Ben needed to remember that college
meant not just football, but classes. Rachel smiled her winning smile and said,
“I love Ben. I knew it the first day I had him in class. He may not be the best
student, but he’s such a great student to teach.”
The stories retold to me over the years go on and on. From
his affinity to small children to his community service work connecting with
the severely handicapped. Ben has a gift. It’s a gift of heart.
Over the years it has been easy to get caught up in not
having a kid on the “talented and gifted” list. Although a 35 on the ACT with
aspirations to be the next John Elway are commendable and I applaud those
talented enough to attain them, these goals are meaningless without the gifts
of heart and human empathy.
My mom always said Ben would be the one to surprise us all, so stop worrying. The alphabet would come in time and talented and gifted list,
who knows? So I will just keep watching him play the game of football and the
game of life with a smile on my face and warmth in my heart. Having a good year
in football couldn't have happened to a better kid. Just keep helping those
other boys up, Ben Lane.
(couldn't resist posting this video...glad Ben took all those years of piano :))
A picture is worth a thousand words. But let's start with six...
"And they lived happily ever after..."
I bought this little sign more than seven years ago. It caught my eye at Target while shopping for milk and kitty litter on a weekday school night. The boys were in varying grades in school and I was single-handedly running my daily household.
Recently divorced, I was also dating a man from Denver. Garrett. Our relationship felt like forever, but the 550 miles between our homes was a stark reminder that our long-distance relationship was more like a fairytale than reality. We were reminded of this frequently by the people who knew us best.
"Guard your heart. Long distance relationships rarely work out."
"You are both good people, so be realistic in where this is going."
But the funny thing about love is that no matter how practical-minded or mature your mindset, your heart guides you to places that are scary to others, but quite comfortable for you…
I vividly remember being asked as a child to describe what I hoped to have accomplished by age fifty. This thought was inconceivable to my young mind.
"Fifty? That's ancient!" or something close to that was my roadblock to answering this question. So I answered with the stereotypical; married with children and grandchildren, living in a comfy home and....knitting by the fire??
But here I am almost to this milestone. The big one. So what are my thoughts now with my more mature forty-nine-year-old mind?
"I made it!!!!! YES!"
Yep, I'm thrilled. I can truly say that I have never dreaded a birthday or wished to be young again. Every wrinkle is earned and with every new ache, a reminder to enjoy the good health I have today. Reversal is not an option.
A wise person once told me that getting older was much better than the alternative. I have always held this thought close to heart. Every day really is a blessing.
This birthday will be celebrated taking in the bea…
Sorry about the cover picture. It's the best I had from our Top 10 day in Flagstaff. And in all honesty, I had to Google "Snapchat Filters" to figure out how to create this picture. Then...wahlah... I am a deer or a dog??
Garrett and I are in Flagstaff, checking it out. I am feeling like a senior in high school, touring schools and narrowing down final decisions. We are going through the same decision process. Kind of. No school, though. Basically trying to figure out commonality in where to live post-kids.
What we have found is this is an easier decision for Garrett. He has a master spreadsheet that lists comparison of cities in the US listed by major categories of importance to us...days of sunshine, inches of snow, recreation, cost of living, median home cost, etc...
Easy, peasy for Garrett. We can narrow down by a spreadsheet.
Sandy...not so much.
Our breakfast conversation was a nice point of clarity as we visited our city #2, Flagstaff, on the spreadsheet.