July 1, 2018: Change is Good
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| Selfie attempt at Hy-Vee to memorialize Matt's last purchase as a Nebraska resident (note that Matt was supposed to be in the picture) |
My brother, Matt, moved out of Omaha this morning. He began his 20 hour road trip to Kingman, Arizona at about 5:30 a.m. With car loaded to the hilt and fresh off of a going-away party from last night, there were few words between us. Just a quick hug and wave.
And then he was gone.
Life changes just keep marching on in my life and this is another biggie.
My brothers and I grew up close in age and close in life. Matt is the oldest and I am the youngest. There is only 28 months between our birthdays with our brother, Mark, born in between. Being so close in age, we shared friends, teachers and experiences through our childhood years. I have often said that birth order rules don't apply to us.
There is one thing the three of us share and that is a sense of humor. We fought our way through childhood, constantly trying to outwit each other with our quick tongues. We bantered and we laughed, many times at each others expense. And then we laughed some more. We could be relentless as teens as our banter appeared as heated arguments.
I specifically remember a time right before Matt left for the Army following his graduation. We were all bickering about something and Mom was at her wits end. She broke into tears and exclaimed "The minute you three leave this house, you will never speak to each other again!" We stopped arguing and just looked at each other like typical teens who know their parents are crazy.
Fast forward and Mom's premonition was thankfully wrong.
As a wise mentor once told me, family is always important. We just need each other more at different times in our lives. Relationships ebb and flow as our lives keep on marching with time. For Matt and I this has absolutely been the case.
Matt moved to Omaha in 2005. His daughter and ex-wife had also moved back so Ky could start middle school in Omaha rather than Las Vegas. They would be closer to family and back to her mother's hometown. Matt was at a point in his life where he needed me more than I needed him. He moved into our house while he figured out work and housing. He lived with us for about a year.
I hadn't a clue how this was going to play out. We hadn't lived together since high school, with most of our adult lives 1,300 miles apart. Other than occasional phone calls, exchanging cards with photos showing our children's growth, and time together on annual family vacations or holidays, sharing life was nonexistent for us. It is amazing how FaceTime, social media and texting has changed this world today.
2005 brought Matt packing, this time with his car pulling into the same driveway that he drove away from this morning. The wit of my brother and our childhood banter began the minute he walked in the door. My boys adored him. They loved their fun-loving uncle. Matt referred to himself as Mr. French (for those who remember the 60's TV show 'Family Affair'), playfully reminding his rambunctious nephews that he was the nanny and the butler to their messes and shenanigans. Ky became a fixture at our house and had no problem keeping up with her boy cousins and their friends.
Over these 13 years of Matt and my Omaha co-existence, life shifted to where I needed Matt more than he needed me. It is amazing how in family and friendships this shift quietly happens without a word or a particular act. I became the single parent who needed help and encouragement. Matt was always there.
Matt was the first one who knew his newly-single sister was flying to Denver for a date. He cautiously supported me and stayed close as my relationship with Garrett developed and blossomed. Matt filled the void of my days of being alone with no kids home and a husband in another city. He accompanied me to the boys' football games and activities. I fell into the little sister role with ease.
There were nights when I would text Matt at the last minute and ask him to join me for a late Filmstreams movie. I didn't mind going to a movie alone, but didn't want to be at home all night alone. Matt would always find a way to join me. This is how we began being movie groupies.
As Matt quietly stepped up and became a constant in my life, we began planning our movie schedule weekly. We would text our 'have to see' list and then would compare schedules to see them. Our list was long and we had fun making it happen. The workers at Filmstreams, and now Dundee Theater, know us well. We have a love for movies that make us think and make us feel. We often text each other after each movie sharing later thoughts on the movies we shared.
This picture was taken outside of Filmstreams yesterday. We shared our last movie (at least for a while). This was our 3rd over the last week.
I look at these last few years as 'gap years' for us. Transitioning from raising kids to moving on to our own lives. We helped each other soften the blow while providing clarity to what our next chapters will look like.
For Matt it will be in sunny Arizona with my parents. He starts his new chapter with Ky coming to visit next week including a trip to Disneyland with her and a friend. I will be helping Grant move to Colorado in the next couple of weeks and Garrett and I will be focusing on our next chapter.
It has been a good run, brother Matt. I can't wait to plop Zeke in our car and take a road trip to visit you and Mom and Dad this fall. A far cry from our planning around Grant's football games and other high school outings a year ago.
Change is good indeed.
(but I will miss you terribly xoxox)
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| Second selfie fail |
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| Forget the selfie. I take a picture of Matt instead. "Last purchase from Nebraska" |
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| Last picture from Omaha |
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