December 10, 2015: On the Second Day of Christmas...
On the second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me....
No turtle doves. But I have gotten some clarity. And clarity is a good thing.
My aha moment came as I laid in bed last night. I thought about the many people I encountered throughout my day and felt reinforcement that there really was still good in the world. Good people. Genuine people living their lives with purity of motive. Although I was beginning to doubt, kind souls keep crossing my path when I least expect it.
My new found clarity is in regards to my approach on life and people in general.
As Garrett and I were starting our morning, I explained to him my thought process.
"Garrett, I think I had it all wrong. I spent too much time trying to find the good in people rather than finding the good people."
He paused, reflecting on my comment.
"I never thought about it that way, but that makes a ton of sense."
My mom taught me that not all people are good. Point taken. I now understand. But there is also a middle ground where I have spent way too much time focusing my efforts. Searching for the good in people rather than just aligning with the good ones.
Although it is always admirable to try to find good in everyone and everything, that should be an unnecessary step for those aligned closest to you. My inner circle should only be the good people, not those whom I make excuses for bad conduct. My pointing out their 'good traits' not does not override the bad.
I think most can relate to this. A friend, a boss, a boyfriend who continually make bad choices or display poor behavior. Although they have admirable traits, does the good really wipe out the bad? And do our defensive tactics ever prove to be worth 'the fight' for these people? Typically not.
As I explained my 'aha moment' to my father-in-law later, he completely agreed.
"Sandy, I always told Garrett when he was growing up that he was an extension of the people he surrounded himself with."
Although finding good in people is very honorable, it shouldn't automatically give them stake to your own personal reputation. People without purity in motive tend to ride the coattails of the good guys. An unfortunate fact of life. Who wouldn't want a kind friend who made excuses for them and defends them?
My new mission is to not only look for the good people in my future journey, but to reconnect with all of the good people I have met along the way. And the list is long.
I have entitled a page in my notebook "List of People to Meet". Yesterday I added four names to the list. Today I added two more. Great recommendations from the good guys I have known for years. The ones in the white hats.
Names have varied from business leaders to advocates of great charitable causes to past patients I have dealt with in healthcare. I look forward to both a growing list and a full calendar of meetings.
I would love to know the people who rank on your list. Those who have impacted you with wise words and who carry out their lives in an honorable way. Those who make a big contribution to a better world.
And as Mother Teresa so eloquently pointed out "Never worry about the numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you." A big contribution is as much one person as a thousand.
I will take any and all recommendations. No one is insignificant and no one unattainable. I have always followed the motto, you can never get a yes if you don't ask.
Let the listening tour begin...