December 27, 2018: Family Updates

Fam picture - Christmas 2018 (Garrett gets photo cred)

I chatted with Kat on Christmas Eve. She’s my kids’ stepmom and my ex-husband’s wife. By my estimation it’s been at least five months since we’ve spoken. Like a couple of old college friends, She and I quickly caught up in the five minutes before I had to take off.

Recently I commented to a friend on how weird it was to not have routine interactions with my ex, Scott, and his wife, Kat. With no school activities, sports, or the coordinating of kids, the frequent phone calls and texts have stopped. No more sitting in the bleachers together at football games or coordinating holiday breaks. As weird as it sounds, I miss this.

But then I remind myself that the lack of having a reason to talk to each other is a good thing. It is a sign that our sons are doing just fine. We have no worries or issues that warrant discussion as co-parents of adult children.

The boys are all doing their thing, happily flowing in their individual grooves.

People often ask me how the boys are doing. I get quizzical looks as I have gone seemingly silent on sharing stories on my grown kids. This has been unintentional. As they say, no news is good news. Conversations with them center around food choices, weather, and plans for the weekend. Nothing bloggable.

Enjoying some recent reminiscing on annual updates from years past, I’m going to use this blog for a rundown on the Lane boys…

Ben (22), the light-hearted middle child, is finishing his Advertising degree at UNL in Lincoln. His two previously claimed majors of Geology and Criminal Justice have added some college time, but arguably have expanded his repertoire. It is all good. He is working hard to finish strong and move on to his next chapter into adulting.

I rarely worry about Ben, who keeps very busy with work, class, and social life. He is extremely resourceful and always finds his path. Ben has also added my grand-dogger, Lucy (almost 2), to our crew which has been a crash course in responsibility for him with some occasional help from me in dog-sitting.

Grant (18), the social youngest, and Zachary (25), the serious oldest, enjoy living together in Colorado, even with their seven year age span. They share a house with Zach’s dog, Luna (3). Both are students at Aims Community College in Greeley, CO. Zach is a licensed gunsmith who is now adding the trade of welding to his resume. Grant is in the Communications Media program at Aims. The technology behind the sounds you hear in music production, podcasts, movies, etc... is what Grant is learning and his passion.

These boys love their trades and I love their courage to step outside the box and pursue career paths that sway from the norm. I am a passionate proponent of doing what you love by finding the path that allows you to do it.

As Zach and Grant's plans began to meld together last spring, many asked how it was going to work out with them as roommates. My answer was simple. “I haven’t a clue.” 

There was never a time in our life that offered a glimpse at what this would look like. My motherly experience with the Lane boys included the combo of Zach/Ben, Ben/Grant, and Zach/Ben/Grant, but a Zach/Grant combo was not familiar. My attitude was that time would tell.

Six months in and life in Colorado is good. Roommate success. Their opposite personality types, yet similar interests plays well with them. Days revolve around class schedules, side jobs, caring for Luna, video games, entertainment, and food. Then there is the aesthetic plus of the surrounding mountains and nature’s beauty.

I distinctly remember my own mom in tears as my brothers and I fought as teenagers.

“You kids will never speak to each other again once you graduate and move on.”

We surprised her as we have remained close throughout all of our adult years. Overhearing my own three boys laughing together this week and sharing life like they were never apart warmed my heart. I now get how my mom must have felt when her fear was unfounded. A sibling bond is like no other.

So, that's about it. Life is just humming along for Zach, Ben and Grant and moving in the right direction. 

As for Garrett and me, did I mention we are moving to Boise, Idaho next week?

We will be loading up the big red dog, Zeke (9 months), and will head out on our new adventure on Monday. Definitely a new blog series coming soon...