August 31, 2019: My Fat Journal (Part 1)
______________________________________ April 21, 2019 I’m fat. There, I said it out loud. And I actually feel a lot better now. I can't sugarcoat the situation or convince myself it’s not a big deal. It's my reality. I weigh 158. My Apple scale is accurate. This is my number. Ugh. The picture that pushed me over the edge. I thought I looked good and was shocked when I saw I did not. Grant, my ‘baby’, turned 19 years old a week ago today. All three of my kids were born in April. As we celebrated the birth of the youngest, I was overwhelmed with memories on how I felt post-birthing all those many years ago. Rocking tiny sleeping infants while enjoying outdoor views of the freshness of spring. Blooming tulips, flowering and colorful trees, and first glimpses of long-awaited green grass filled my emotional eye. Every rock of the baby was filled with breasts bursting out of my nursing bra ready for upcoming feedings. My extra layers o...