August 16, 2017: Baby

Our daily early evening routine from 2004-2006

Well, it's happened. Baby is a senior. Months from graduation. Our last hoorah.

My feeling is similar to the day I went to kindergarten round-up for him. As I sat in the crowd of parents, I couldn't believe my youngest was actually going to start school. He was just out of diapers. This couldn't be. Having a panic attack, overstressed with 3 young kids while juggling a demanding career, I was sure I had made a mistake. So I did what any good accountant would do.

I recounted the years on my fingers.

2000....2001...2002...2003...2004...

Yep. Despite my temporary confusion, Baby Grant really was old enough to go to kindergarten. And so it began.

I have cried my way through many last-parenting moments starting with our drive home from the hospital following Grant's birth. With each flutter and kick with Baby #3, I enjoyed every minute of my last pregnancy. His birth was the planned last. Knowing it was the beginning of many lasts, I vowed to cherish the moments with my family and not to wish time away.

But Father Time had his own thoughts. I ultimately could not control how quickly the days, months, and years flew by. Time did not wait for me or consider my wishes.

So here we are with Baby Grant safely out of the cradle and on to another last. Last year of high school. Always along for the ride, Grant has been the solid third, simultaneously loving being one of three while really wanting to be an only child. The joy of being the youngest is you actually get to be the one to experience both. Although the oldest is an only child for a period of time, the youngest would argue that having this exclusive status as top dog at school and home is better than as a toddler.

Backup to Grant's early years. It looked like this...

A toddler affixed to my hip, he loved his blankie and our routines. His older brothers were busy with sports, schools, and activities. They often had the supervision of their coach-dad. So Grant, by default, was with me. We had a fun time in those early years. He was my shadow. My side-kick. Most days it was just the two of us.

For hours we would play in the backyard, switching from slides to swings to books in the fort. By day we would DVR Sesame Street to watch each daily episode after pre-school as he would eat the same meal of peas with parm cheese, hot dog, and Doritos. I just was along for the ride, enjoying each last as he graduated from crib and diapers to all things independence and boys.

Soon Baby Grant was the one going to school, playing in all the sports, and participating in the group activities. His days were full of friends and practices. No longer was he my sidekick, as he spent more time with his dad and big brothers. And Father Time kept on marching away. I just followed in step with a smile on my face.

Fast forward to high school. It looked like this...

A funny thing happened after Ben graduated and Grant started his high school journey. Life got really quiet. Zach had already started the adulting thing and Ben was following him out the door. With my husband tending to his own kids in a different state, Grant and I found ourselves staring at each other as the only two left in the house.

After ten years, it was just the two of us again.

There was the stage of awkward silence with the house lacking the tornado vortex of Ben. It was a strange process of re-acclimating ourselves to quiet living with just Grant and his mom. With no interest in Seaseme Street and hot dogs served on his favorite train dinnerware set, we had to figure out how to best live together again without the background noise of his brothers.

And with a blink of an eye, I am enjoying one of my lasts. Misty eyes come intermittently as I mark my calendar with all the school happenings and football schedule for the last time. Our house is a revolving door for Grant & friends during senior privilege time and post-practice showering before going out. Living so close to the high school, Garrett often asks if we are running a hotel. A hostel, maybe, but that's okay. We will blink and it will all be over.

Next up, football. First game starts next week. I have this season's 'mom uniform' ready to go. And I won't get teary until senior night. Wish me luck...