March 6, 2015: Sibs

Next week is Spring Break for Grant. And he's spending the week in Denver with his brother, Zach. Although going to Denver wasn't a surprise, spending the whole week was a late-breaking development.

Months ago we planned a weekend in Denver that including friends from Omaha. Recently as I was mapping out details of the trip, Grant looked at me confused.

"I'm only going for the weekend?"

With my confirmation of this being fact, Grant said nothing with a hint of disappointment in the air.

Last weekend, I was going through the same detail mapping with Zach. Completely independent of Grant, his response was near the same.

"Why can't he come for longer? Isn't he off all week? He can play my X-Box and hang out while I'm at school. And then he can hang out with me at night."

Feeling tag teamed, I paused a bit over an idea that escaped my planning brain. Yet it didn't escape the thoughts of my bookend sons. After some circling between the boys and their dad, we were able make it happen. Grant will be in Denver from Monday morning until Sunday with Zach.

My heart warmed. Although seven years apart, the brothers are still close. And, no doubt, Ben will feel left out once he hears the news. The Lane brothers prefer to run as a trio. For the record, Grant is still bent over being left out of an adult-only trip Mexico that didn't include him.

Now taking a step back from my sentimental ways, I have to point out that my boys have not always upheld a peaceful and loving co-existence. In fact, they fought a lot. There have been many occasions of fights breaking out in my back yard. The trampoline was a favored fight zone. I was sure the neighbors suspected serious violence based on the constant eruption of boys noise.

For the Lane boys, I have found that absence does make the heart grow fonder. My mom watched this same phenomenon when my brothers and I were teenagers-going-on-young-adults.

I distinctly remember Mom bursting into tears as my brothers and I argued to exhaustion. A year between each of us in age and school grade, we were in high school at the time. We fought a lot and that day was no different.

"When you three graduate and are out of this house, you will never talk to each other again!" was mom's explanation for her tears over our kitchen sink that day.

Although the three of us wanted to defend ourselves, we answered with silence and without dispute. And then we shocked her by becoming friends as young adults. We have maintained our close relationships to this day, despite time and geographical restrictions.

I can now relate to my mother. Although our means of communication were sparse in the 80's, my brothers and I figured out how to stay in touch. In today's world, social media and group texts keep my boys in touch despite the miles between them. They seem to cherish these interactions. My heart smiles when they leap at the opportunity to grab my phone hearing me on my phone with a brother.

Absence really does warm the heart. I completely understand. And, Mom, I'm glad we three Wagner kids ultimately didn't let you down. But I do need to apologize for all of the bickering along the way.