July 1, 2020: Social Justice

Nieces, Ky and Brynn, and sons, Zach, Ben and Grant.
They joined me for a Rotary meeting during my presidency.
(in my defense...they were told to be silly for this photo)

I was flying high in the early 2000's.

Between the years 2006 and 2007, I was selected as one of the Ten Outstanding Young Omahan's, named a 40 under 40 up-and-comer, and elected the first female president of West Omaha Rotary on it's historic 50th year. I had sat on more than a dozen charity boards, turning away more invitations than I accepted. A partner with a large CPA firm; I had status, significance, and yes....a bit of an ego.

Don't get me wrong, I loved serving and being a community leader. But I was also on my high horse with all these accolades. Looking  back, I now have flashbacks to my childhood; me basking in golden child status with exclamations of "look at me, look at me!!"

During the heart of my PR roll, I received a phone call from Sister Mary Ann (I actually don't remember her name, so we are going with Mary Ann). She wanted to meet with me as she'd been given my name from multiple people. I was well accustomed to networking, frequently setting random meetings with unknown people with hopes of upward potential. Sister and I agreed on a day and time. The nun with mysterious intent was added to my stacked calendar.

An aging Sister Mary Ann showed up right at her designated slot. My heeled pumps matched with designer dress raced the company floor to the front desk, greeting my new opportunity.

The tiny and aging habited Sister slowly lowered into her chair in our corporate conference room. Declining any offered refreshments, her ever-present smile greeted me as I sat down for our private discussion.

Curious to the context of the meeting, I was more eager to hear specifics on my glowing recommendations. I was ready for a another noteworthy nomination.

Quietly Sister Mary Ann started to describe the work she did in the area of social justice and the board she wanted to form to oversee city-wide efforts in this area. Her newly formed board would both educate and institute collaborative efforts for social justice issues in Omaha. My name had come up from several people as a good board member for her organization.

I sat and listened, feeling passion on this issue vibrate from the small frame sitting in front of me.

But I was also confused.

I had sat on the homeless shelter board, church boards, school boards, arts board, foundation boards. For each I clearly knew their mission and my part in advancing their good works. But I just couldn't grasp the purpose of the board she was describing.

So I asked the question.

"What do you mean by social justice?"

Yes, I really asked that.

I didn't know what social justice meant. At least not in real action.

The little nun looked at me, a bit taken aback by her highly acclaimed social justice nominee. In her kind and patient manner, she slowly began to explain Social Justice 101. She then proceeded to explain how the various initiatives I currently supported were parts of social justice; valuing humans equally and promoting the welfare of all people.

That conversation was 14 years ago. I didn't ultimately join the social justice board that Sister Mary Ann came to pitch to me. I honestly don't remember why. I want to say I was too busy on other boards so I declined, but it is just as likely that I simply didn't hear back from her again.

Since that meeting the term, social justice, has gradually become part of my normal vocabulary. Although I am embarrassed to tell this story, I'm also enlightened in my understanding of past ignorance. I also understand this ignorance comes from privilege. Yet another term I didn't understand in the past, but have grown to know.

Privilege in politic views started when I was a young adult. I clearly remember a conversation with a mentor around politics. I was told "If your life is good, what do you have to complain about?" I bought into this philosophy and would repeat this same statement when people would complain about leaders or the political state. If my life was good, why should I complain?

Privilege.

I have grown in my understanding as an older adult. I now look at the world from the eyes of someone who not only assesses her own quality of life but the those of others. Social justice is now frequent in my vocabulary. With recent changes in nonacceptance of the old ways of thinking (ignoring the problems), I have been reflecting more on how I can better understand my privilege. What action I can contribute to positive change?

Upon reflection, I wish I wouldn't have stayed silent with oppressors I encountered in my daily life. Others of privilege who consistently acted against the core values of social justice. These are the  everyday oppressors. I was really good at looking the other way rather than challenging the wrong.

I vividly remember a day when a co-worker came into my office, ranting about his son "f*#king a n*gger". He (dad of the noted young man) was seething in anger. Although he went on to say it was okay that all guys "do it" once to a black girl (he used the 'N' word again), his son <gasp> continued to date her and what if the grandparents found out <double gasp>? The saliva spat from his mouth for five minutes before I pretended to take a call and get him out of my office. I was appalled. But I sure didn't call him out.

This is one of many, many examples of which I am not proud. No response is the same as acceptance. That is how bigotry is fed.

Now I calmly call people in my circle on their shit. I believe if more people did this, the oppressors would find no joy without an audience. The power in numbers needs to support those who need protecting instead of supporting those oppressing. Silence serves no purpose. Positive words and action against oppression serve a purpose.

I also acknowledge that there are some people whom I will never be able to engage in a positive dialogue on social justice issues. I am all for opposing views. Diversity is what brings us a world rich in culture and human identity.

Weeding out the people who I shouldn't engage on issues is very simple...

If at the core, we both share the belief that all human lives have the same value, then we are on the same page. Regardless of policies we support or politics we back, you and I can have a good conversation and respect each other's differences.

If you don't believe that all human lives are of equal value, then you and I have nothing to talk about.

It really is that simple.

I wish I could find Sister Mary Ann today. I'd like to let her know that planting that seed did finally bear some fruit. I definitely don't have it all figured out, but I am now thinking and acting outside of my own self-interest (and I am pretty sure my ego has greatly deflated). The commonality of humans is greater than we think. But this only happens when we allow ourselves to think outside our own box.

We all can learn a lot from each other if we take the time to try to understand. One of my favorite recent social media posts came right after the horrific George Floyd video. It was from another privileged white woman.

Her post included a black screen with #BLM with a simple comment "I understand that I do not understand but I will listen and try to learn."

Amen, sister. Let's all try to learn together.