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November 2, 2018: Out With the Old, In With the New

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Ben getting a haircut in the backyard of our first home (Little Tykes toys, long gone...Grandma's homemade jammies, some kept in basement storage) Today I drove by my old house. Really old, as we haven't lived there in eighteen years. There wasn't any one thing that motivated me to do this, other than a recent sentiment of touching pieces of my past as I look to the future. I often think back to a parting conversation I had with my divorce attorney. It was a remark he said in passing, one that typically would have slipped my memory quickly. But ten years has passed and his words are burned in my brain. "You will remarry and be happy. I am sure of it. You're a traditionalist and will find your happy home again." I have often wondered which of my behaviors deemed me a traditionalist and not a trendsetter in his mind. Why conventional was seen as my future and not edgy? Did I ultimately fulfill this prediction? On the surface, one could say no. B...
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January 10, 2013: Unsubscribe

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The draft e-mail that sits in my brain I have a confession to make. When I get nasty e-mails or those with a negative or condescending tone, my knee jerk reaction is to fantasize on replying with the simple subject line "unsubscribe". No body in the e-mail. No words other than the word "unsubscribe" on the subject line. Yep, it crosses my mind and tempts me each time I receive a nastigram or e-annoyance. An example of a nastigram (based on my own personal rule book) includes passive aggressive cyber behavior. This would include a person who can't communicate their frustrations in person, but instead writes a dissertation on the matter at hand. I learned a lesson early on in the world of e-mail and that is the lesson of permanent record. An e-mail is a permanent record. You can't take it back. Consider it published. An example of an e-annoyance (based on own my list of personal pet peeves) would be unnecessary "reply to all" e-mails. Whe...
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Own Your Shit

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  A few weeks ago my previously favorite blog subject (otherwise known as my middle son, Ben) called me for advice. The reason isn't significant now, but his approach to the conversation carried weight with me. "Mom, I need your advice on something. And before we even go there, what I am going to tell you is completely my fault. I get all the life lessons around it. What I want is just advice. So can we just put that all aside and stick to advice on my situation?" I respected Ben's ask and we had a productive conversation. He sought out advice from others and ultimately came to a good conclusion. Owning his shit and life lessons acknowledged early on,  I am pretty confident Ben won't be in the same situation again. I have always felt that a top responsibility in parenting is to teach our kids to think critically on their own. A specific skill that falls squarely in this category and high on my list is the ability to own your shit. To accept blame when due. To know...
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