Tales of the Ordinary Days

______________________________________ April 21, 2019 I’m fat. There, I said it out loud. And I actually feel a lot better now. I can't sugarcoat the situation or convince myself it’s not a big deal. It's my reality. I weigh 158. My Apple scale is accurate. This is my number. Ugh. The picture that pushed me over the edge. I thought I looked good and was shocked when I saw I did not. Grant, my ‘baby’, turned 19 years old a week ago today. All three of my kids were born in April. As we celebrated the birth of the youngest, I was overwhelmed with memories on how I felt post-birthing all those many years ago. Rocking tiny sleeping infants while enjoying outdoor views of the freshness of spring. Blooming tulips, flowering and colorful trees, and first glimpses of long-awaited green grass filled my emotional eye. Every rock of the baby was filled with breasts bursting out of my nursing bra ready for upcoming feedings. My extra layers o...

The last picture taken together at 16706 Elm Circle To the New Owners of 16706 Elm Circle: I am writing this letter as a for-sale sign is being strategically positioned in the front yard of my home. It has been nineteen years since a sign to allure new owners (you) has been placed on its grassy front. Today I find myself reflecting on the sweet heartbeat carried in walls of my forever home and all the joyful moments shared inside and out. My hope is to pay this all forward to you. Today instead of savoring the past in my comfy chair in Omaha with three active boys buzzing around, I am in Boise with only a faithful dog by my side on a quiet summer morning. The only sounds here are the buzzing of the neighbor's mower and the many happy memories that are racing in my mind. A typical lazy August morning in our cherished house of past would include smells of chlorine from wet swim trunks not properly placed in the washer. Towels leaving evidence of late night hot tub use an...

Boy-See! The Boise Adventure. We are days away from the 6 month mark into our stay in Boise. What a fun ride! I haven't been blogging much lately, and the reason isn't lack of material. It's lack of time. So much to do, so few hours in the day. This is a pattern that has been recurring in my life since childhood. Per my mom, my youngest son, Grant, has similar tendencies. He always had great intentions with high determination, but time has never been on his side. When he was young, he and his brother would fly as unattended minors to stay for weeks in the summer with my parents in Arizona. Grant loved all of the newness of his grandparent's desert home and the resulting choices in how to fill his day. My mom has always been keen on how to best handle both her overly optimistic daughter and grandson. She later shared with me a story on how little Grant had a long list of things he wanted to do at their home on a particular day. Mom wisely asked him to write the...

Headline banner to the paper in the fall of 2013 before Ben's shenanigans (and for our use in life lesson training for him) It's been over ten years since my divorce. When I recently thought of this milestone, I was doubting my mental math. Has it really been that long? Then I remembered the faces of our three young sons at that critical point in time. Comparatively to their 19, 23, 26 year-old selves today, I know this timeline to be true. I vividly remember picking up our youngest two from grade school on the day I filed. I was pretty sure they hadn't a clue on the news I was going to deliver. My intuition was correct. I painfully watched as they both broke into sobs following my disclosure. Grant simply cried, while twelve-year-old Ben pleaded with me. "Will Dad still be your best friend??" It seemed like such an odd thing for my young son to say at the time. And it has probably taken these past ten years for me to fully appreciate what he saw in his...